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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

International Bank of Pacquiao: IBOP Slams Doors On Edwin Valero, Four Others!

IBOP will not be shutting its gold-plated doors anytime soon.

Trust me on this because this is not my first rodeo if I may mix metaphors.

Sure, IBOP may take a respite, a hitatus. OK, call it a vacation or a temporary retirement. That could happen especially for political reasons.

But the International Bank Of Pacquiao will be doing business for at least seven more fights and as many jumbo jackpots by my expert calculations.

I wish I could figure out my taxes as easily as I deciphered this boxing question.

Manny Pacquiao has fought professionally 53 times and the May 2 Vegas date with plucky but soon to be assaulted Ricky Hatton will be Bout Number 54.

So make it six more bouts before Pacman packs it in, before he puts the gloves in the attic in the palatial home in General Santos City.

Pacman-Floyd Mayweather is an immediate sensation. You don’t need a 24/7 show on HBO to hype that because “Money May” against the Pinoy Idol is a natural firestorm, the former Pound For Pound Exalted Ruler returning to see if he can knock the new king off his royal roost.

Who wins? You won’t get that one out of me so easily or so soon. For now I will say what was said on HBO’s “The Wire” when the matter of chess compared to drug lords came up: “The King stay the King!”

Yes, Pacman’s career may be interrupted by another political foray but I hope not. Manny will unhappily discoverer his idolatry will diminish if he turns into another moneygrubbing pol. Being a moneygrubbing world class athlete is much more acceptable.

Clearly, Pacman’s Prime Time is limited. With that in mind, herewith my Five Guys who Pacman will never fight:

1. JOAN GUZMAN: It’s one problem after another for the slick Dominican Dandy but his best bet now is to take over the lightweight division, fighting all comers. Only a victory over Juan Manuel Marquez could boost him into consideration in Pacland even though it seems he will shortly take on Bob Arum to revitalize his sagging career. His slap and dash style is a nightmare for anyone, especially Packy, and Coach Roach would prefer to contract typhoid than have his Megamanny fight Gooserun.

2. EDWIN VALERO: Where’s his fan base, Tokyo and Caracas? Too bad he has Hugo Chavez and not JC Chavez as a firm backer. Arum is moving like a turtle on getting him licensed somewhere in America besides Texas. Brings little to the overflowing Pacman table. Long shot to get into Pac Derby only if he becomes Godfather of the 135-pounders first. But Valero will have to run the table including beating excellent Juan Ma. Enough already with the tuk tuk driver opponents getting flattened like pancakes!

3. TIM BRADLEY: Fresh face with nice personality and good background story. But he has no home fan base and how could he fighting in Gallic Montreal? Bradley’s chin seems vulnerable and he will win many bouts along the way but I see Pac Parade passing him by.

4. HUMBERTO SOTO: May be toughest SOB among the lightweights. Arum has tortured this Mexican walnut by dangling Pacman bout several times. Instead of getting Megamanny carrot, he always winsd up getting hit with a big stick. Being Mexicano helps but he couldn’t figure Gooserun’s jab and jog tactics.

5. NATE CAMPBELL: Age starting to catch up with Soupy. Not his fault but he has no large fan base or local support to bolster his agenda, either. He’s landed, it seems with Golden Boy, but being on their roster does not instantly make him a Golden Guy. Another beggar coming to Pacman’s banquet looking for scraps.


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